It started to creep closer and closer to the surface. Maybe the tipping point was too many hours in front of a monitor. Maybe it was my Mom's early passing. Maybe I was becoming more aware of my own mortality. Who knows... the reason's don't really matter. The desire to take a break for a while, experience different areas of the world, different perspectives, and a much more simplistic lifestyle was at the forefront of my thoughts.
The initial plan included lacing up the Hoka's and fast packing the Continental Divide. After watching The Runner, I came to the realization no one was likely to crew me and maybe, just maybe, after several years of ultrarunning, I didn't like running THAT much... In comes Barb with Alastair Humphrey's books telling me "I should do it" and the rest just started to fall into place.
Making the leap has not been easy. Casting off the security of my professional life in San Francisco, the beginnings of a great relationship and the ability to spend time with family and friends as frequently induces a high level of anxiety. But leaning into the unknown, getting out of my comfort zone, and experiencing a more visceral relationship to the outdoors are things I feel compelled to experience while I still can. The fear of looking back years from now wondering why I never took the plunge is worse.
Some look at the decision as foolish and selfish. It is selfish on many levels but not foolish. As Alan Watts said "better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserably way." Sounds a touch melodramatic, but it speaks to focusing on what you truly desire and not being driven by consumption, superficiality and ego.
I'm not sure where the unfolding journey will lead, but I hope it provides some moments of inspiration for you along the way.